Tag: My Journal

January 10, 2014

Still dealing with the hand but FINALLY got an appointment with Dr. Baker. He took off the old cast and put on a removable cast and I will have physical therapy and then see him again in two weeks. But my whole attitude has changed and I am dealing with it better now that I have the removable cast on.

Lots going on a church and I am loving being in the middle of it. Had to postpone seeing my Hospice patients for awhile until my hand is better.

Feb 2, 2014

It’s been too long but have been trying to catch up on things I couldn’t do with the cast plus appointments EVERYWHERE for both Dick and I and therapy twice a week. Whew!! I had been asked to write devotions for April for the church website and I couldn’t think of anything to write. I almost told them at church I couldn’t do it. I prayed about it. The very next day I wrote two devotions!! I should have realized when the timing was right I would have many ideas to write about.

March 9, 2014

I am amazed, but not really surprised, how God has put pastors and mentors in my life for each level that I have attained spiritually. Back in 2009 I had Brother Howard and Pastor White for little while before they left. I had Mary, my next door neighbor, then Pastor Claude helped me decide I needed to change to a different church. At New Hope I have four spiritually beautiful women who help me grow and the wonderful teachings of all the pastors. I joined New Hope Baptist Church in April, 2013 and I have progressed in my faith more than I did all the previous five years.

          But now it is time to end my journal but not my story. I pray that the Holy Spirit will continue to teach me and guide me and that Jesus will walk beside me until that day, as the song goes, “when he will take me by the hand and lead me to the promised land. What a glorious day that will be!”

Nov. 27, 2013

I broke my hand, went through an awful mess, in hospital three days, hand and arm in a cast. Worried that my faith would not be enough to overcome my problems. I spoke to Pastor Don and he gave me James 1:1-2. I must keep reminding myself “Consider it pure joy whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

December 5, 2013

It is more than just the pain in my hand, it is more than the many follow-up appointments, it is more than the uncertainty of the TIA diagnosis, it is the frustration of not being able to do my job around the house. There are so many things I am supposed to do! It is so close to Christmas and I can’t decorate the house, I am having trouble getting gifts in the mail for children and grandchildren and don’t even think of getting out Christmas cards!! I can’t ride my bike and just the last few days I have not been able to get out for a walk. Very few of the clothes I have will fit over the cast. THERE, I have whined long enough. “Do not be anxious about anything…………………….” Once again I can gain comfort from my Bible.

December 12 (Happy Birthday!)

Still have the cast on. Thought it might come off last Monday, but doctor said one more week. So, all in all, it could have been worse (my right hand instead of my left) and I have been able to keep up my spirits for the most part thanks to answered prayers from my faithful Jesus always there when I needed a boost in moral and remembering James 1:2.

December 25, 2013

Went to the doctor yesterday. He took the cast off, but the hand was not healed so he put a new cast on for another three weeks. Terribly disappointing. The hand is more painful in the new cast. But we had calls from all the kids today. Also had a call from Debbie. Dick and I worked together and made us a nice Christmas dinner. We had Carol’s and the boys gifts to unwrap which are always fun. But missed Christmas past. I am relying on James 1:2, other Bible messages and my prayers to keep my faith strong.

October 11, 2013

Now I have to get ready for the Harvest Festival in Zephyrhills for the church on Nov. 2, the Pastor Appreciation dinner on Sunday, the girls coming to visit on Nov. 11 which also means a birthday cake for their Dad, and the women’s tea at church on Nov. 16

God is good, life is good, Thank you Lord.

November 3, 2013

A whole new world has opened to me.

My new church and the people and the pastors have led me to whole new level of learning, understanding and knowledge. The more I learn, the more I want to learn more. I am so completely amazed at the Bible! The more I study, the more amazed at what God’s Word tells us. I am active in the church, YET, I see so many other places and things I could do to serve God but have come to the realization that I can become so busy with serving God that I have no time to worship Him and study the Word. I am trying to establish a balance with serving Him, studying and learning, but I still must be a wife and mother. I pray that God will show me how.

Same day……………later in the same day.

          I have a friend at church that I can talk to when I need help so I went to her. I felt better but still not resolved about how to handle working at church but not to become so involved that I have no time for anything else. So I went for a walk. I was still confused. I wanted to pray but I didn’t even know what to pray. This morning on the Pastor’s facebook page he quoted Philippians 4:6-7 as a thanksgiving devotion and as I walked I remembered it and prayed it. God answered my prayer immediately and I actually grew weak, sat on a bench with such a feeling of relief and was filled with his presence. He stayed with me all the way home. Such joy, such a feeling of his presence and I was no longer upset or confused. I knew I had to sit and write about it while that wonderful feeling was still with me. I don’t know how to explain it, I have no words to describe it but Jesus was with me. Thank you, Jesus.

March 2

It has been a long stretch since I’ve added to this blog. I joined a bible study in my park which is very good. But that is the not the big news. . …I have decided to leave Richland Baptist Church and find another church. Today, I have realized I can not be close to God while I held criticism, resentment, disappointment and , yes, even anger and jealousy in my heart. Once I got rid of all that, the joy and excitement the the closeness of God returned.

March 13,2013

It is becoming easier now. I am getting used to the new church, getting to know a few people but mostly I feel comfortable now. I love the sermons, I like the Sunday school. It was a good thing I did. So I think the time has come to remove my membership from RBC formally by letter and join New Hope. I pray this is the right decision.

CHANGING DIRECTIONS IN LIFE IS NOT TRAGIC;

LOSING PASSION IN LIFE (GOD) IS.

LOOK FORWARD NOT BACK!

April 7, 2013

          Hallelujah!!Today I joined New Hope Baptist Church! What a wonderful day! I feel so certain that this is the choice God wanted me to make. The people there are friendly, welcoming and SOOOOOOOO dedicated to following Jesus. They have such deep, strong faiths. I sense that now I am truly in a body of believers! The message by the pastor is what I need. He preaches that we must stay strong in our faith in order to face and endure the trouble of the world we live in today. He shows us how to live in this world and how to prepare for even more disturbing times to come. He teaches Scripture and the truth of the Bible! In just the short time I have been attending the church (about 7 weeks) I feel that my faith has grown and deepened. I feel the closeness of Jesus and have experienced so many answered prayers in just these recent weeks. Praise God!!

May 7, 2013

I was sad at prayer meeting tonight. I am sorry because I did not trust God. I felt my life was changing and I prayed for God to tell me what he wanted me to do. Everything I WAS doing wasn’t working anymore. My faith was weak because I didn’t know what God expected of me. I felt confused and lost. I have been praying every day…God ,what is going on? What should I do? I felt there was a change coming but I didn’t know what it was.

May 26, 2013

Today Marie(church secretary) said that Pastor Don would like for me to write the daily devotions for the church website!!! Wow!!! More than I could ever expect, beyond my wildest dreams and an answer to my prayer to God for a task to do for him and/or the church.. WOW! The pastor is a genius and his mind and his writing is off the charts, yet he wants ME to write the devotions!! My writing is at a third grade level compared to his. WOW! It is also very scary! I have to write 31 devotions for the whole month of July! But, I have learned from the past that if God gives me a task, he will also give me the wisdom and skill to do it. Thank you God!! This feels like an answer to my prayer and is certainly a boost in my confidence. Praise, praise, praise God! But forgive me, Lord, me for not having the patience to wait for you to show me what to do. I pray that you will continue to lead me where you want me to go, to do what you want me to do, and teach me how to do it. Thank you dear heavenly Father.

July 31, 3013

I am so amazed! I was doing no Hospice work this summer and there was no school, no Bible study in the park, and the devotions were written. I’m wondering does God no longer have a plan for me? Well, it turns out he did have it all planned out for me. I just had to wait for it to develop on His timing. I was free this summer to help Ray and Mary. She was losing the battle with cancer and very sick from chemo. I was grateful I was free of other obligations so I could be with them and help them during this very difficult time.

          I look back over the decisions I have made these past few months and I can see God’s hand directing me in a direction where he wants me to go.

I know that as long as I pray for answers, as long as I strive to serve and please him, he will direct my life if I just ask for his help and continue to obey and love him. What an awesome God we serve! All he asks of us is to love, to obey and to trust.

October 2, 2013

Confusion:

My mind is changing as I study God’s Word, I see everything around me differently. I am more sensitive to people’s suffering, more attuned to world events, more aware of listening to God’s Word, that is, coming to a better understanding of the Bible. This is all good, but I feel so separated from people who can’t see or understand what I see and feel! I am comfortable and relaxed only with other believers! I don’t know how to deal with this. I am happy and contented with my life, I feel secure in the love of God and don’t have any desire to change anything in my life, except to be able to spend more time being with God, to learn more about how to live a life that is pleasing to Him.

Oh, sweet Jesus, how awesome you are!! I had just finished writing this last paragraph when the phone rang and it was a lady who needed someone to take her to the grocery store. I love this dear lady and I am so pleased to be able to help her and have a nice outing with her. Thank you God for giving me this opportunity to serve you. The timing of the phone call was so appropriate to make me feel good but also humble. It felt like an answer to a prayer. Thank you.

December 6, 2011

Wow..what a lot to catch up on. Been so busy doing the work the Lord is calling me to do every day, along with the extra church work this time of year and trying to get my Christmas organized for the kids and house decorations and Dick is sick with a cold, Also for three days I was on the phone with technical support and technicians at the house three days in a row trying to fix a problem with Dick’s computer. That issue is solved. But what I really wanted to write was that on my way to do a visitation for the church I was chatting with God and said I was so tired, I had so much to do and could he help me find some peace in this busy schedule. I told him I was glad to be able to serve him, grateful for all the opportunities he is giving me but I was struggling with trying to keep up with everything. In the blink of an eye I was totally embraced, flooded with such a peace, such a calm feeling that was unbelievable but so very real! Thank you dear Jesus for always being there whenever I need you.

January 26, 2013

          How do I begin to tell of such a ‘shower of blessings’! God is so much a part of me, so much a part of my life, what joy and peace I have missed out on all the years before I came to accept Jesus as my Savior. Where do I begin?? My life, my husband, my son, my daughters and grandchildren and my church.

I can’t relate all, but have to mention some…….My son is far away in Hong Kong and I miss him. I can imagine how happy God must be when his children go to him for help or just to say thank you, I love you. It seems I can go only so long without hearing from one of my children and I feel sad. God knows this and just when the sadness reaches a certain point….I get phone calls or messages from ALL OF THEM!! He is such a compassionate God. But we must remember He wants to hear from His children, too!

February 2013

          Just recently I did something to my knee stretching over the bed to tuck in a sheet. I could put no weight on it and it was very painful. Well, long story to short story. Emergency room, x-rays, knee brace and crutches. This happened on a Thursday. I was so tired, too busy, trying to do so many things..I was really exhausted. Well, another long story made short….the pain medicines they gave me, the crutches, the leg brace forced me to take three days off! No meals to prepare, no housework, no laundry, no patients, even no church! Now here’s the meat of this story. I had been praying to God for a week asking Him to help me sort out my life to be less busy. Well, God did lead me to some decisions I had to make but I really needed some rest! By the fourth day my knee was so much improved, I could be up and around with my normal activities. God knew how tired I was and gave me a few days enforced rest. Thank you to my compassionate, merciful

July

This morning I was riding my bike early and telling God how pleased I was to have him in my life and asking him to show me ways I could serve him and show him my love. Over in the western sky I saw a beautiful rainbow….the promise from God in the old testament to give us a new covenant. It was as if he heard my prayers and was reminding me of his covenant of mercy, grace and love

July 20, 2012

New Insights

I’ve been searching for the will of God. What would he have me do? How do I know what he wants me to do? Then on one of my TV devotion shows I found the answer. 1Thessalonians 5:16.”Be joyful always, pray continually and give thanks in all circumstances for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” If we follow this scripture we are living in God’s will. Another way of considering this is, if you can’t change your circumstances then change your attitude. This is where the joy comes in. When circumstances are against you STOP and remember all God has done for you. Think of his wonderful creation, remember all the prayers he has answered for you, and give thanks. Leave the negative thinking of the circumstances and you can become joyful in any circumstance. Don’t let the circumstance define who you are. If we pray continually we are in constant contact with God and we can pray for a change in attitude, pray for the peace he can give you. It helps me in those times when it is hard to pray because a circumstance has me discouraged and depressed and I go to the Bible, read the psalms that praise the Lord and the ones that encourage you to trust the Lord.

This way of thinking requires discipline. We must discipline our minds and our bodies. We must stay healthy and we must read the Bible to know the mind of God. We must exercise and eat right. We must feed our minds with the Word. We must remind ourselves we are a child of God and he wants his children to be happy (joyful). I already have his blessing, I don’t have to earn it or prove anything. He loves me just as I am.

August 2011

I was expending so much energy and time trying to serve God, that I lost the joy because I was so stressed and tired. I need time to be with God, just slow down and enjoy his company. I need to realize that it is OK to be a little lazy once in awhile.

So I guess to some all this up, I would say that if we stay physically and mentally healthy, stay in the Word by studying and reading the Bible and stay in a close relationship with God and then we will know God’s will. The Holy Spirit will guide us, teach us and, yes, bless us if we just remember what God tells us in 1Thessalonians 5:16- 19. “Be joyful always, pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

July 1, 2011

As I read back over what I have written in previous years, I chuckle at how naive and inexperienced I was. I can see how much I have matured in my faith, in my trust in God, in my love for Him. My life has changed so very much. I no longer am interested in playing golf, bridge, shopping, watching TV, reading anything except the Bible. Even my avid enthusiasm with the Rays baseball team has toned down to something a little more reasonable. My life now is now centered around God and I find anytime it isn’t, I lose the joy in my heart. I have learned to talk with Jesus, walk with Jesus, praise Jesus for what I have, and trust that whatever plans he has for me are what is best for me. My life is full of joy, contentment, peace and love. I have come to a point where I have absolute faith in God, in praying and in His answering prayers. I even prayed for a little lost, homeless puppy and just a few days later a man took him and it was a blessing from God for the dog and the man. I can’t even begin to describe all the answered prayers (and some I didn’t even know I needed an answer!)

Thank you, Lord!

January 3, 2012

          I have missed seeing and talking with my children and I tell God how difficult it is not to see the kids and grandkids. Today I was on the phone with Kathy, back and forth e-mails about the possibility of renting a cottage in Maine for a possible family reunion with all my children and grandchildren this summer. I am going to see my children and my grandchildren!! This would not have been possible except our financial adviser called this past week to tell us that a CD we had invested in more than ten years ago was coming due. We had forgotten it was there. That would pay for our vacation in Maine this summer. God is good. I have been so sad about not seeing the children and grandchildren and now God has given me the means to seeing them.

“What an awesome God we serve.”

January 2010

          It has been difficult for me to hand over my problems and concerns to God but I am learning to do it. And you know what…It works!! If I am patient and don’t try to take over…he answers every prayer.! He solves all problems.!

My life is simple now. So few complications, so little stress. Just trust him and love him and my life has changed. What a joy to have God in my heart!

October 2010

          God has given me so many opportunities to serve him and the joy I feel is indescribable. It has been a year and five months since I stopped smoking. I could not have done it without his help.

October 2010

          Talking to Joe about the Bible, God telling me to see Ethel at the nursing home at a time when she was thirsty, messy diaper, strapped in her wheelchair and left in the corridor. Makita’s conversation via e-mail about his faith, Lorette’s question about heaven. The spirit gives me a continual feeling of joy in my life because Jesus loves me. Thank you, dear God for forgiving my sins and teaching me a new life, and showing me how to “walk in love”.

December 2010

          Two of my patients died and I was beginning to question if Hospice was where I wanted to be. Then on a Sunday in early December a church member told me she had a dream about me. In her dream she saw me helping a dying man accept Jesus as his Savior. I saw this as a message from God that he wanted me in Hospice. Then I had to go back and look at my volunteer award . Yes, God wants me in Hospice.

June 2011  

I went through a bad time in January because I was not being given any new patients. I had been so sure that was where God wanted me to be, but I wasn’t serving patients anymore. But, again, I learned a lesson. Jane’s husband was diagnosed with cancer. They were both very worried and Jane had to be at the hospital a lot with him which meant she had to time away from her classroom. I volunteered to work with her. It turned out that I bonded with the kids, helped Jane do some things she didn’t have time for while taking care of James. I enjoyed being with the kids, was pleased to be helping Jane. Then I was asked to do a patient at the nursing home across from the school, which was great timing (school opened late so I could go to the nursing home and then to school.) I also could visit with Gloria(a former patient) while I was there even though she was no longer on Hospice care. I went to school twice a week.

When school ended I was given two delightful women in two different nursing homes and dropped off the one on Mondays. So when my patient load dropped, I started at school. When school ended I picked up two new patients. Now tell me…is God directing my life??

September 2009

          I have been fascinated how a pastor can take just a few words of Scripture and write a sermon so I tried it (just a mini-sermon). I showed Brother Howard what I have wrote and as usual it develops into a teaching lesson for me. One time he told me “Stop trying so hard to please God. Relax, slow down and listen for His voice.” He always makes helpful comments on my writing and encourages me to write more. It is a great learning experience. He has left the church.

September 2009

          Today is a special day. The temperature was 62 when I got up this morning. Fall is here. It has been four months since I stopped smoking. It is such a blessing to work with my Hospice patients. I thank God that he led me to serve him this way.

September 30, 2009

          God has changed my life. What was important to me before is secondary in my life now. Having Jesus in me brings me peace and joy. Studying the Bible is a challenge and a blessing. I have a whole new set of values, a reason to live.

I am pleased with where I am in my relationship with God but constantly have to battle against pride and arrogance. I have trouble remembering that I should pray and ask God to help me with these problems.

Dec. 4, 2009

          I just found out I was chosen “volunteer of the year” for Hospice patient care for Gulfside Regional Hospice. I am so pleased that God has directed me to do Hospice and every time I was tired or discouraged, he gave me the strength to keep going. I am completely overwhelmed that God has chosen me to do this work for him. The work itself is rewarding but the award affirms that Hospice is where I need to be. God gives me so much joy and love that it overflows from me to my patients. The light of Jesus shines through me. I am serving Him. I remember asking God very early in my journey to give me an opportunity to serve him. Now I realize I wasn’t ready and had to wait for His time.

I accepted Jesus as my Savior and was then baptized on March 22, 2009. I began a journal on my computer to follow my faith journey. I was in my 70’s and had no background in any religious training. It is so interesting to go back now in April 2014 and see how I have changed, learned and progressed. I have broken down the entries to be viewed on successive days so sometimes an entry may have two dates on a page while others may be longer and have only one date per page. I have not changed or edited any pages except those that did not lend themselves to the purpose of this exercise and therefore did not include them. So the next   12 devotions will be taken from my blog. (The names have been changed)

May 2009

          I asked God to help me stop smoking. I had been smoking for 50 years, and after many past failed attempts to quit, God helped me quit. I could not have done it without him. I have decided to take the training as a Hospice Patient Volunteer.

October 10, 2009

          I have learned a new lesson today. God says I want to be there for you to help you and love you. I hear the words, so I believe them, but it is very hard to practice. For example, yesterday I couldn’t get my cell phone activated, worked for an hour and a half with tech support to fix the television, couldn’t make the computer program work for a photo book I was making. I was discouraged and upset.

          Then this morning on my morning bike ride I watched a jet fly over. It occurred to me that is quite a miracle. How many thousands of pounds does an airplane weigh, then add a couple hundred people and all their luggage. If I had never actually flown on a plane or if I was telling someone that had never seen one, we both would agree….”That ain’t possible!” But if God saw to it that a jet was developed and it could fly, then why not help me with my cell phone, my television and my computer program? But certainly God has more important things to tend to than my technical problems and I shouldn’t bother him. But, then again, doesn’t the Bible tell us to pray when we need Him? I did.

          When I returned home that morning, I tried again to solve those problems from yesterday and make everything work again. I activated my phone on the first try, turned on the television to check the weather and the TV was working, and when I started to work on my photo book it went very smoothly.

Wow! I must learn to believe God and trust Him. I hope this new lesson has taught my that nothing is impossible with God and He does answer my prayers.