As you know, wishing others a â€œMerry Christmasâ€ is no longer polite, but politically incorrect. Thus, we are being urged by todayâ€™s thought police to replace the traditional â€œMerry Christmasâ€ with the more appropriate â€œHappy Holidays.â€ By doing so, we will not offend others who are traumatized by the mere mention of our Savior or by the mere sight of His name. No one seems to care, however, that Iâ€™m traumatized by the name â€œSanta,â€ which Iâ€™ve long suspected was a scrambling of â€œSatanâ€ and a sneaky way for devil worshippers to annually slip through the politically correct cracks at winter solstice.
According to todayâ€™s politically correct crowd, wishing others a â€œMerry Christmasâ€ in government funded institutions or on government property is a flagrant violation of the separation of church and state, since it is deemed to be an endorsement of religion. One must be careful, therefore, to use the alternative â€œHappy Holidaysâ€ while on the governmentâ€™s payroll or property. Apparently, our brilliant bureaucrats are unaware of the fact that the word â€œholidayâ€ actually means â€œa religious feast day or holy day.â€ Thus, wishing others a â€œHappy Holidaysâ€ is an obvious endorsement of their religious observances, which, like â€œMerry Christmas,â€ should be strictly forbidden on government property and among government employees.
Having given this pressing problem much thought, Iâ€™ve come up with an appropriate greeting for the Yule Timeâ€”â€œHave a good one.â€ Since Iâ€™m not specifying what it is that I hope is good, Iâ€™m not offending anyone nor endorsing anything. Of course someone may take the â€œoneâ€ to meanmonotheism. If so, I could change the â€œoneâ€ to â€œones,â€ but this may be miscued as anendorsement of polytheism. What if I just wink at you? Youâ€™ll know what I mean, wonâ€™t ya? Ofcourse someone may mistake my wink as a symbol of the all-seeing or evil eye. Well, I think Iâ€™lljust stay in till after New Year; and by the way, I donâ€™t mean this as an endorsement ofmonasticism.