HAVE A GOOD ONE

As you know, wishing others a “Merry Christmas” is no longer polite, but politically incorrect. Thus, we are being urged by today’s thought police to replace the traditional “Merry Christmas” with the more appropriate “Happy Holidays.” By doing so, we will not offend others who are traumatized by the mere mention of our Savior or by the mere sight of His name. No one seems to care, however, that I’m traumatized by the name “Santa,” which I’ve long suspected was a scrambling of “Satan” and a sneaky way for devil worshippers to annually slip through the politically correct cracks at winter solstice.

According to today’s politically correct crowd, wishing others a “Merry Christmas” in government funded institutions or on government property is a flagrant violation of the separation of church and state, since it is deemed to be an endorsement of religion. One must be careful, therefore, to use the alternative “Happy Holidays” while on the government’s payroll or property. Apparently, our brilliant bureaucrats are unaware of the fact that the word “holiday” actually means “a religious feast day or holy day.” Thus, wishing others a “Happy Holidays” is an obvious endorsement of their religious observances, which, like “Merry Christmas,” should be strictly forbidden on government property and among government employees.

Having given this pressing problem much thought, I’ve come up with an appropriate greeting for the Yule Time—“Have a good one.” Since I’m not specifying what it is that I hope is good, I’m not offending anyone nor endorsing anything. Of course someone may take the “one” to meanmonotheism. If so, I could change the “one” to “ones,” but this may be miscued as anendorsement of polytheism. What if I just wink at you? You’ll know what I mean, won’t ya? Ofcourse someone may mistake my wink as a symbol of the all-seeing or evil eye. Well, I think I’lljust stay in till after New Year; and by the way, I don’t mean this as an endorsement ofmonasticism.